Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Getting Through The Recession

Since the stock market crash of 2008 Canada and other countries are struggling to get through the recession. Businesses have closed the market is slow and families are having a hard time getting by. I am lucky to live in Canada and still be in school, so I dont have to deal with the reality of the harsh times upon us. I am also lucky that my parents can provide for me and I am not in a job hunt when todays employment opportunities are scarce. I realize that not everyone is coping with the recession as easily and comfortably as I am, so I thought I would be pro active and try my best to reach out to the community through turbo talk and try to make a difference. When i went to the G-20 summit a few months ago I had a lengthy conversation with president of Italy, Silvio Berlusconi, he talked about how we have to regulate stuff and change foreign policy blah blah blah. This was alll mumbo jumbo no one knows what this stuff is. Thats when i told him to to watch turbo talk and explained how i was going to help people get through the recession and try to find a way to cheer people up globally. Who needs new legislation, legislation shmegislation its time for turbo talk! The following are guaranteed ways to make things better for the common man.

Sub prime mortgage crisis? who cares about that? This doesnt seem like such a big deal compared to what this lil guy has going on. Hes just concerned about whos gonna clean up this mess. Arent you? thats a good boy


I always hear people talking about how the value of houses are going down and interest rates are sky high. Turbo Talk asks you to look in to this cute muffin rolls eyes and ask yourself is that really something anyone should be worried about? This guy doesnt need a big fancy Bel-Air mansion like most of us, a pile of sweaters in a hamper is good enough for him.



People are angry about how bailouts are being handed out to bad companies. They should be those fat cats upstairs dont deserve any money after they have made poor business decisions. Wall street is worried about whats the next big company to go bankrupt. I say they should be more worried about where this tiny ball of wonder is going to get his next hug from.



Financil crisis, shminancial shmisis. The biggest crisis Toby Tanner and Keith are facing is what they should ask Santa to bring them on Christmas.

I hope that this article will give world leaders insight into new solutions to help stabilize the market and most of all I hope everyone takes at least one piece of financial information from Turbo Talk that they can use to battle their own financial problems.

TURBO TALK BONUS SOLUTION !!! TURBO TALK BONUS SOLUTION !!!

Bunnies like carrots.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

O, The Things I Miss

It twas a gray October morn when I awoke to the sound of garbage trucks compacting trash. It was a Thursday, which meant I had a day off from school, I started the day off by watching reruns of magnum P.I. on television. Halfway through an action scene where Magnum was jumping off a gorillas back onto a helicopter with a knife in his mouth to stop the Columbian drug cartel, I said to myself this show is awesome! Something about the show had me in a zen like trance that I could not put my finger around. Movies more than ever have crazy big budget scenes ,but what was it about Magnum that was so amazing. THE MUSTACHE. Looking back now at other things that I loved because they were cool, or just made life better I also realized how many of hem were gone.

Here now read the first installment of the reoccurring blog article O, The Things I miss!

Manly Mustaches

One thing that can be said for big mustaches is they make everything better (Baseball, Smoking cigarettes ETC). Another thing that can be said is if you see someone wearing one of these big lip rugs your about to get your ass kicked. In a time where skinny jeans, hair gel, and pink shirts are acceptable for men to wear I think now more than ever we need mustaches like the "Bandolero" "Big Tex" and " Nebraska Sunset" back in style.

Donkey Kong

Video games today are so sick and are now being played by more people than ever, but I have been playing games before they were 3D and dammit i wanna know why they left behind Donkey Kong. Playing video games in the 90s is nothing like today ,playing by candle light was difficult, but it was all worth it to see a big ape get pissed off and throw barrels at a lizard. How did game developers ever think an ape named after another animal who eats bananas and flies planes would ever get old. For anyone whos curious, the last cooltronic game made under the DK name was "Dixie Kongs Double Trouble".

Floral Pattern Furniture

These couches today are considered ugly and tacky. However growing up as a young lad these couches were the only things getting me through the day knowing I could come home and just relax on a simulated bed of roses. This was also the way I learned about flowers. If I had my own place today I would welcome back this semi psychedelic grandma style as part of my decor. Also I feel this was a bold statement made by my parents identifying them as immigrants in the 80s reflecting that they had no sense of North American style.

  1. Bi-Way

Bi Way is one place that only few people will remember and even few will remember fondly. For many of you who dont know in the 90s Bi way was a discount clothing and convenience store kind of place where everything was very cheap and you would only really go in their to grab a tasty beverage. I remember going their with my mom as a kid and when she got me clothes for the school year I just knew that I could look forward to not looking cool. However the one thing for some reason that place did better than anyone one was sell jogging pants. If you didnt really care about how you looked and liked being comfortable at an almost hedonistic level this was the place to shop, for pants at least.

I hope you enjoyed strolling down memory lane with me and I look forward to adding to this Turbo Talk exclusive article.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Nuite Blanche 2009

For some of you that missed it this past Saturday was the annual art festival Nuite Blanche, which is held throughout several dozen locations in Toronto. This was my second time attending the festival. To give you Some background on what this event actually is, its basically at different locations there are abstract art pieces that can range from people performing, playing music, looking at a sculpture or something you have never seen before. The goal of the night is to try and see as many art exhibits as possible. Personally i like the whole atmosphere of the night with music playing, food available all night on the streets and massive crowds of people all night on every street. The first place I went was a church that had a tree full of kites stuck in its branches. The second place i visited was in a hotel lobby with people playing music while tv screen showed a strange video of hands moving around. I did not like this exhibit at all, I had no idea what it all meant. By far the strangest exhibit i had seen that night was a room with a big cage that had 20 wrestlers fighting each other blindfolded. Unfortunately i did not see very many exhibits as id like to, i think i saw 6-7 in total. The main thing that makes this enjoyable is being outside at ridiculously late hours of the night and seeing 1000s of people in the city having fun. Most of my night was spent in Dundas Square, where the crowd was huge and did not disperse until the wee hours of the night. I highly recommend everyone should go to Nuite Blanche at least once and see the city of Toronto in a way ou never have before.

Lifestyles of the poor and lazy

Like most twenty year old college students most of my time is consumed with school and attending classes. This is maybe why i have turned away conventional ways of living and turn to what is the easiest way to function. If you have no problem with the quality of your life but like taking the easy way of doing things like eating and lounging at home this is the article you must read. A main problem i have with being home is parents asking you to go out for groceries or picking up your little brother. An easy way out of this is to tell your parents you are drunk and most likely their response will be "stay home i dont want you drinking and driving". Mission accomplished, im still at home. A good tip for the weekend is if you just wake up, and dont want to get dressed, you can wrap yourself in a blanket and walk around the house without having the hastle of putting on clothes. In my house the living room is at the opposite end of where the washroom is located. This can be a long journey similar to Homers Odyssey, but if your not bothered by odours the cats litter box is an adequate substitute. Now that you have learned to avoid getting dressed and saved on travel time you must be getting pretty hungry. An easy way of make close to gourmet pizza without breaking the bank is to use these three key ingredients , ketchup, sliced cheese and olives. Simply put these toppings on a slice of bread and bake it in the microwave for 1-2 minutes. Mmmmm, when the timer ding your ready for a nutritious lunch that will make you feel like your in southern Italy. I hope these tips help you in your day to day life and im happy I have had this opportunity to share my my expertise with my loyal readers.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

News papers, the most useless medium ever

Even before the technology boom that has happened over the past decade i have always loathed newspapers and their contents for several years. I dont understand why for more than two seconds anyone has put up with newspapers. For instance i hate that every time you try to read a news paper past the first article your hands are all black and dirty with ink. Personally when i read something i would prefer not to have my hands look like i was living in a forest for eight years. Newspapers have been around since the late 1800s and i dont understand why every technology created since that time period has either been upgraded several times or or has become un-necessary. The two main things i hate about newspapers is that they are not easy to carry around and they are a key source of litter around a city. Each page of a news paper is 2-3 times larger than a page in a magazine. Why do the new papers insist on printing stores on a page so large and add picture to go with an article that takes up so much of the page. Newspapers cannot be brought anywhere without being read in an uncomfortable position. The main reason i dislike the paper is that with all of the measures taken to create a more green environment newspapers continue to be disposable news medium that has become a constant litter on our streets. I feel that all papers should be forced to either be converted into an online subscription format. Another solution would be to make newspapers a weekly delivery the size of a magazine, this would eliminate excess litter and eliminate the inconvenience of those giant new pages. I feel that newspapers have to many reasons to convert into an electronic format to ignore.